This song is so true and has really hit home for me. I tried to love someone who was broken and was toxic. I wronged them and myself trying to make them accept my love. I held on too tight and for too long and in the process got burned and lost myself in their flames. Learn to walk away before you go up in smoke.

I dreamt of you last night. 

Until now I haven't been able to see your face so clearly since the last time we accidentally crossed paths.

I try to forget you but everyday I am reminded that you were once part of my life.

I dreamt that I laid my head on your chest. I felt the warmth of your arms and your embrace around me.

...... But before I knew it, you got up and left.

I laid there, in the cold, waiting for you to come back.

You never did.

I was left to myself and to suffer in my thoughts.

All I wanted was to feel your embrace again and to feel loved. 

I was left wanting. My heart was never put at ease.

I woke up from my dream to find it my reality. 

Dear Pop Pop,

When you left this world to be with the good Lord above I had tried to ensure that you left knowing that my heart was safe and protected with someone who loved me like no tomorrow. I wanted you to be proud of me and to know that I had chosen wisely. It’s been two years now and my heart has been riddled with heartbreak. I have been dragged threw my two lowest points and now l am left on my own. I know that my last relationship was nothing that would ever make you proud or happy. I wouldn’t be surprised if it made you turned over in your grave a few times. I am left in pieces and I am slowly stitching myself back together piece by piece.

 I think back to a time where I actually had faith that I could meet a good guy. I always thought that the men I chose to date met the criteria of the good guy. Maybe my problem was that I was dating boys and not men. I am not really sure and am still trying to solve the puzzle. When it comes to dating I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. The males that I am talking to, Men? Boys? Whatever, they are called don’t seem to know what they are looking for. They all seem to want to play games and skimp when it comes to showing interest. Everyday, I lose more and more faith that there is a grounded and humble guy out there for me. However, despite the vicious cycle that I continue to find myself trapped in, all I can think of is you.  I want to thank you. Thank you for being the only person that has left any sense of hope in my heart. 

Thank you for being the only man in my life to show me unconditional love. Because of you, I know how great a man can be and I hope that whoever comes into my life next will be as selfless and loving as you. I hope he is someone that will make you proud and treat your granddaughter with as much love and respect a you. I hope he is someone I know without a doubt will love me and protect me.  Never less, I just want to thank you for being that continuous light in a place that seems so dim. 

Sending lots of love your way!

Your biggest fan and granddaughter,

Morgan <3

Dancing with the Devil

I remember listening to the song on repeat and staring at the cover art. I could not understand why I was so enthralled with the image of a blindfolded woman dancing with the devil.  Now two months later it all makes sense.

            I was the girl in the blindfold. I was dancing with you and you told me you were an angel. With my blindfold on, I could not see nor understand the harm in dancing with you.

            I thought I knew how to dance. I watched others dance before and believed I knew all the right steps. I began to take the steps but soon realized we were not dancing the same dance.      

I asked you why you did not dance like the others and you told me I did not know how to dance but that you did. You reassured me that I had been taught wrong and so blind, I trusted in you. I let you lead and teach me the new way.

            I struggled to follow your dance. You told me that this was how everyone danced but as I tried to learn the new steps it never came to me.

 I kept trying to make slight changes to my steps in order to make our dance flow in unison. However, the way I danced never made you happy.

            I started to question why I couldn’t get the dance right. You were an angel, so you must know how to dance, so the problem had to be me.

One day, in my frustration I took off the blindfold.  I realized I had been deceived. You had told me I was dancing with an angel. In part it was true. But the part that you forget to mention was that you had fallen too.

           When I realized I was dancing with the devil was when the dance with you ended. However, now when I try to dance I no longer know how.  As much as I try to go back to the old, everytime I dance with someone new I find myself dancing with you.